Post by eric_1963 on Aug 30, 2009 14:06:29 GMT -5
* Man eating an Audio CD: "I have strange tastes in music"
* Note stuck to music shop door: "Gone Chopin - Bach in 3 minuets"
* Inscription on a blues man's tombstone: "Didn't wake up this morning... Didn't feel to bad... Last night was probably the BEST I ever had!"
* How do you get a rock guitar player to slow down? Put some sheet music in front of him!
* How is a drum solo like a sneeze? You know its about to happen, but you can't do anything to prevent it.
* What do you throw a drowning Disk Jockey? His amplifier
* What did he musician say to the tightrope walker? You better C# or you'll B flat!
* How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None; they can't get up that high!
* How do you prevent a trombone player from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
* How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They have machines to do that now!
* How do you put a twinkle in a soprano's eye? Shine a light in their ear!
* Why do bagpipe players march when they play? To get away from the sound!
* Why do bagpipe players march when they play? Its more difficult to shoot a moving target!
* Why are music critics hearts sought after for transplants? They've had so little use!
* What's the difference between a DJ and a dog? The dog knows when to stop scratching!
* What's better than roses on top of the piano? Tulips around your organ!
* What will you find on a drummers music theory exam paper? Drool!
* What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer!
* Whats the difference between a live drummer and a drum machine? You only punch the instructions into the machine once!
* Why do rock bands need roadies? To act as interpreters for the drummer
* What do you get if you drop a piano on an army officers head? 'A' flat major!
* What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? 'A' flat minor!
* What's brown and sits on a piano stool? Beethoven's Last Movement.
* "Mmmmm, baby, I can play you like a fiddle" he said... "Can you play me like a harmonica?" She replied
* If you play country music backwards? You get your house back, your car back and your wife back!
* What happens when you combine diminished and augmented chords? You get demented chords!
* What is the difference between a bagpipe player and a terrorist? Terrorists have sympathizers!
* If a rock guitarist is drooling from both sides of his mouth: The stage must be level!
* Whats the difference between a music producer and the IRS? You can negotiate with the IRS!
* Whats the difference between music producer and God? God doesn't think he's a music producer!
* Did you hear about the soprano who bedded four different saxophone players from the same band in a single night? She was a sax addict!
* What do you call a robot that composes musicals? Android Lloyd Webber!
* What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Overqualified!
* Note stuck to music shop door: "Gone Chopin - Bach in 3 minuets"
* Inscription on a blues man's tombstone: "Didn't wake up this morning... Didn't feel to bad... Last night was probably the BEST I ever had!"
* How do you get a rock guitar player to slow down? Put some sheet music in front of him!
* How is a drum solo like a sneeze? You know its about to happen, but you can't do anything to prevent it.
* What do you throw a drowning Disk Jockey? His amplifier
* What did he musician say to the tightrope walker? You better C# or you'll B flat!
* How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None; they can't get up that high!
* How do you prevent a trombone player from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
* How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They have machines to do that now!
* How do you put a twinkle in a soprano's eye? Shine a light in their ear!
* Why do bagpipe players march when they play? To get away from the sound!
* Why do bagpipe players march when they play? Its more difficult to shoot a moving target!
* Why are music critics hearts sought after for transplants? They've had so little use!
* What's the difference between a DJ and a dog? The dog knows when to stop scratching!
* What's better than roses on top of the piano? Tulips around your organ!
* What will you find on a drummers music theory exam paper? Drool!
* What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer!
* Whats the difference between a live drummer and a drum machine? You only punch the instructions into the machine once!
* Why do rock bands need roadies? To act as interpreters for the drummer
* What do you get if you drop a piano on an army officers head? 'A' flat major!
* What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? 'A' flat minor!
* What's brown and sits on a piano stool? Beethoven's Last Movement.
* "Mmmmm, baby, I can play you like a fiddle" he said... "Can you play me like a harmonica?" She replied
* If you play country music backwards? You get your house back, your car back and your wife back!
* What happens when you combine diminished and augmented chords? You get demented chords!
* What is the difference between a bagpipe player and a terrorist? Terrorists have sympathizers!
* If a rock guitarist is drooling from both sides of his mouth: The stage must be level!
* Whats the difference between a music producer and the IRS? You can negotiate with the IRS!
* Whats the difference between music producer and God? God doesn't think he's a music producer!
* Did you hear about the soprano who bedded four different saxophone players from the same band in a single night? She was a sax addict!
* What do you call a robot that composes musicals? Android Lloyd Webber!
* What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Overqualified!